Pay It FORWARD

I just realized, that I have never personally been able to thank these people for their generosity or their kindness. These customers have all left before I could tell them thank you, people like this don't show up all that often. I also understand, that it is hard, and obviously more than should have been left. As crazy as it is, I received these tips when I truly needed them most. So very grateful. Pay it forward. Always. 

Received this when I needed to pay some lab bills.

Received this before my wedding, Scott and I paid for quite a bit.

I got this beauty when I had only made $15.00 all day. This lady had sat here my whole shift. 

This fun number I received at Christmas.  I had Santa's in my hair. 

I hope they come in again, I won't forget their face, and I will tell them thanks!!!

Journey to be Parents

While Scott and I have only been married for 4 months, almost 5, we have been talking a lot about when we would like to start a family.  It is also one of those questions we hear a lot here in Utah..."When will you have a baby?", or when you say "Hey guess what?" The response usually tends to be "You are pregnant!". If only some could have an answer, or if sometimes you could say "why, yes, we are!". However, that is not always the case.

You see, its actually not easy for some.  I have something called PCOS, and to be honest, many women do have to. For some women it is controlled and for others it is not. PCOS stands for Polycystic Ovary Syndrome and it is a problem in which a woman's hormones are out of balance. It can cause problems with your periods and make it difficult to get pregnant due to lack of hormones, and cysts that develop in the overys. PCOS also may cause unwanted changes in the way you look. If it isn't treated, over time it can lead to serious health problems, such as Diabetes and Heart Disease. PCOS may also cause Insulin Resistance, and may even lead to Endometriosis (Scar Tissue in the Uterus).

I was diagnosed with this in May, 2013. I have met many women now who also have PCOS, and they have had some great success, and others not that great. PCOS is something a women is born with, it can be passed down from a mother or from the fathers side, it is genetic. Millions of women struggle with this, and some more than others. Now, how did I go almost 22 years of not knowing? Simple, I grew up dancing which masked a lot of my symptoms, but because I am adopted, some symptoms were overlooked. When I stopped dancing, I gained weight extremely fast, and it is weight that is amazingly hard to get rid of. It its in my face, and my stomach. Not my arms, back, or legs. In 4 years, my weight went from 110 to 160, and has stayed there, no matter exercise, or diet.

I did have many symptoms that were over looked, let me share them with you:
-Some facial hair. My hair is thick and dark, we never thought anything of it.
-Irregular and heavy menstrual cycles. Overlooked because my dance routine would change, and I always had one.
-Horrible mood swings. But as a teenager what is new?
-Migraines. I have had them since I was 5, but no explanations, only guessing.

FINALLY, the symptoms to reveal all!
-Skin discoloration. I had splotches of Purple skin every so often on my body. Apparently low vitamin d levels can reveal a lot.
-Horrible sleep apnea.

I now am currently taking Vitamin D 1000 units, Niacin, and Metformin 1000 mg. My levels have improved quite a bit, however, with lack of taking care of it sooner, and with help from an improperly placed IUD, I am now heavily bearing Endometriosis.  Due to the PCOS and the levels of my Endometriosis, my doctor has a few suggestions for us:
1. In vitro Fertilization (can be thousands of dollars)
2. Adoption
3. Clomid, a fertility medication, which still is not cheap, but for now is a cheaper, doable option.

We have decided to take option 3, and would love to have you will us on our journey. Those women who have had a great success rate, are the women who are my hero's, and who I look too.

On Tuesday I receive my medication schedule, along with much more. We are hoping for success within the year,  but I am only 22 and Scott is 23, we have all the time in the world for beginning our family.  We already have a puppy, that should count for something!

Here we go!

and thank you pinterest foe the following images, and according to my Clomid research, this will be a side effect. 

My Three Names

     I want to share something personal to begin my blog with, this is only because I know so many people who are going through a similar thing. It it hard, it is frightening and you can feel so alone. I want to talk about my story of divorce.
    On September 18, 2011 my name was Paige Keyes, and I became engaged to my boyfriend of, at the time, a year and a half. We planned to get married March 29, 2012, and we did. Everyone was so excited, and so was I. It was a beautiful event. I had my dream dress, dream location, adorable invitations, hundreds of supportive guests, and a new husband. I had just become Paige Lawrence.
Soon after our marriage we moved into a family basement, and we were able to get a puppy, a little Boston Terrier. Sounds like a dream right? For 5 months it was. Our marriage started to have problems that I slowly began to notice, but I could not figure out why.
     I began to get depressed, I began to work very late, and when I was home I just kept myself locked away in our room. Not too long after my depression began, I began to notice things. My husband wouldn't let me sit on his lap, we were rarely intimate, and I couldn't touch his phone. He also began to use his iPhone, which had no service unless on wifi. That is when I knew that our marriage was over. I had to see for myself if my suspicions were true, and they were. So I left, and came back again. It wasn't until I found a message from him to another women that said "I just wish we were done", that I made up my mind. I left. I left with a broken heart, I left depressed, and I left angry.
     For months I had feelings that I needed to leave, but I couldn't.  I loved him. There must have been something I could've done to keep him. But what? What was I doing wrong? Was I not pretty enough, skinny enough, smart enough? I wanted and needed to know...I never received my answer, instead I packed my things, left him and left my dog, paid for divorce papers on my own, and that is all she wrote.
     I moved back home with my parents, and began to go to church.  I was back in the ward I grew up in, but I felt so out of place.  These people had known me for 15 years, but were now tiptoeing around me. What did I do wrong here? Was it my divorce, or were people to scared to ask me? It got to the point of feeling alone in my ward, that I stopped attending. There was a moment where I decided to go again and someone looked at me and said, "Well I am surprised to see you here." A hello, or how are you would have made me feel a bit better...I left.
     A month later, it was my birthday, which was fine, until he texted me. How was that fair or remotely okay? I was in pain, and he was, to my knowledge, just fine without me. And that is when it happened, I was tired of feeling ugly, I was tired of feeling down, and I was tired of being hurt. I logged on to my computer and created an account on POF, plentyoffish.com. I was so nervous that no one would want a divorced 22 year old girl, and some didn't, some gave me crap,  but others did not care. This is where I met Stephen, James, Kyler, Dan, Cory, Jay, and Scott. But why exactly did I decide to do this? I will tell you why. I was going into smiths grocery store to get a coke, and instead felt that I needed to go into Seagull Book. So I did, and that is where I found this...

...and oh my goodness, it was uncanny.  Her ex-inlaws names were Rex and June, 1 of which is identical to mine, amd the other is only off by 2 letters. It opened my eyes.

My name is now Paige Miner. I went on 1 date with Scott, the last week of July and I knew he was the man for me. He became my boyfriend August 4th (his birthday), and he asked me to marry him September 17, in the Secret Garden at Thanksgiving Point and with no doubt in my mind, I said yes. I will have no regrets, and no second guessing.  He is my best friend, and he will be my eternal companion. I was nervous to get married in the temple, I couldn't go through more pain if something went wrong, Scott understood and understands That. But I have no doubt in my mind that he is the man that I will spend forever with. The beginning of forever began December 14, 2013. Our eternity will begin shortly into the year 2015. 

So there you have it...

I was born to be Paige Keyes, chose to be Paige Lawrence, and was meant to be Paige Miner. 

Some marriages last and some marriages end. If they end, that is okay, but don't try to go about it alone. I owe so much to my friends and my family, they helped me get through all of it, the pain, the sadness, and they saw me at my worst, but pulled me back up on my feet. Also, don't stray away from God in the process, I may have struggled going to church, but I prayed, I read, and I pondered. I owe many thanks to my Lord above. 

The Grass is ALWAYS Greener on the Other Side